The Monster On the Bed [FICTION]

By The Nuclear Unit

Why even bother trying to get to know my victims? People do it with sex. We should do it with murder. It’s the same level of intimacy, being inside them…

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My Wish For America by A Conservative Dad

By The Nuclear Unit

“We don’t need to pay teachers any more than they get. How much money does someone need to teach kids how great God and country is?”

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My Wish For America by Liberal Dad

By The Nuclear Unit

MY WISH FOR AMERICA As a choice father of an intelligent, ethnically ambiguous, sapien – a sapien who identifies as a female and responds to the pronoun “she” – I am invested in the future of this country, this planet, the internet, the entertainment industry, politics, genetically modified foods, the workplace and everything else I…

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Speech Impediment Not Preventing Child From Clearly Dropping F-Bombs

By The Nuclear Unit

Trying to keep kids from cussing has been an empty tradition since the strange day certain words began carrying moral value.

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Conspiracy Theorist Dad Vindicated After Billionaire Caught in Sex Slave Ring

By The Nuclear Unit

Mr. Logan’s been raving about billionaire sex rings for years. About how the rich and powerful trade in people. Oops! We forgot to listen.

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9 Ways Babies Are Not Shake Weights

By The Nuclear Unit

Baby or Shake Weight? Find out how YOU can always spot the difference.

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That’s Not the Best Way to Wash Mom’s Back, Dad

By Your Son

“First off, you’re not even holding the soap. You’re holding Mom’s hips. If you want Mom to have a clean back, you need to actually touch her back.”

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Applebees Introduces Gimp Masks For Families With Loud Children

By The Nuclear Unit

“We love the murmurs of little children. That’s why we’re testing the new policy. To try and keep the noise level to a murmur.”

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Couple Celebrates 27 Years of Complaining About Each Others’ Driving

By The Nuclear Unit

“Every time Dianne takes the wheel it’s a thrill ride with a fifty-fifty shot of survival. And I’m the lucky man who gets to nag her about never checking her blind spot.”

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5 Reasons Bernie Sanders Wants Free College For Families [VIDEO]

By The Nuclear Unit

Bernie Sanders wants your kids to go to college for free. Here are 5 reasons why. [VIDEO]

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