My Wish For America by Liberal Dad

American dad with daughter
Who’s excited by fairness!
liberal dad

Hi! My name is Jack. My daughter Michael and I live in Palo Alto with our rescue dog Chai. I love writing, hiking, solving problems and apologizing to Europeans for not being from Canada. Follow me on Facebook.

MY WISH FOR AMERICA

As a choice father of an intelligent, ethnically ambiguous, sapien – a sapien who identifies as a female and responds to the pronoun “she” – I am invested in the future of this country, this planet, the internet, the entertainment industry, politics, genetically modified foods, the workplace and everything else I have served up in a social feed. Because my child should be excited by the world she’ll inherit. Not scared that it will turn into the Handmaid’s Tale. Which is a legitimate fear considering who we have as president and all. The way he has spoken about certain women at certain times has been very rude. And rudeness is the first step towards sexually enslaving every fertile member of half the population.

But this isn’t about that man! This is about our country and how I see the future! And it’s nothing like a Hulu original. It’s more like a TED Talk. And if things work out right, it will be. I’m the last person on my block not to have a TED talk.

END RACISM

This is issue number one. America’s past is ugly. From the racist Columbus who, spearheaded Europe’s first White Flight, through today – where Latinx’s are purposefully underrepresented on Afternoon Network television. Are you trying to tell me there are no small claims judges of hispanic descent? Wake up America! Racism is worse than it’s ever been. Just turn on the news, every story is about racism!

Just this year there was the Jussie Smollett assault, that racist Covington High School class at the Indigenous event, Biden basically told Kamala Harris to get to the back of the bus. It’s been a great year for Nazis.

Now, I understand that two of those examples were hoaxes and one was a Democrat who I will vote for in a HEARTBEAT if there isn’t a member of a less represented identity group who gets the Democratic nod. BUT, that doesn’t mean that racism isn’t real, isn’t everywhere, isn’t infecting every one of us, right at this very moment.

You reading this online? You probably see a big white screen dominating little black letters. Just like America. Open the news. It’s story after story like those above. You can’t say racism doesn’t exist just because these stories turned out to be fabricated. Uh uh. You can’t prove non-existence. That’d be a logical fallacy. Pssssh.

But when it comes down to it, who cares what little pranks these people played when our Führer In Chief is out there tweeting at women of color (not only a protected class but also the largest human sub-category on the planet) that they should go back where they came from. That kind of behavior is unacceptable from a former beauty pageant owner. That’s not the America I’d like to know anymore. Not since my dad learned to stop saying stuff like that in front of me.

Some people just brush that kind of overt racist attack on . Some might say he’s just a misguided old man who’s under more pressure than he can handle. And maybe he’s running out of insults because this isn’t fun anymore. He thought he was gonna be beloved but he’s having his ego stomped on by a Congresswoman in her 20’s. How is this latest minor tweet storm any worse than his years long birther campaign? One might even ask. But that person is probably a Republican so they are W-R-O-N-G.

The Democrats have been desperately trying to end racism since the 1970s. Dems have been working on fixing racism since Lee Atwater stole the racist base for Nixon in the Southern Strategy. Racists used to vote Blue in the South from the Civil War until like 40 years ago. And while I don’t want any of them employed, it would be nice to have their votes.

I’ll admit, it’s gonna be tough to end racism when everything and everyone is racist. From Betsy Ross flags to Game of Thrones casting to every single mention of chocolate in any form. But that’s why we gotta keep calling out, every instance, no matter how minor, trivial or false. If we aren’t speaking out against the greatest threat to humanity (behind drinking straws), then racism wins.

How can you stay strong in your fight?

HAVE AN IDENTITY

When my lesbian best friends wanted to use my cis-sperm to make a baby, I was more than happy to oblige. Procreation is one of the most natural processes, and although I hadn’t planned on having a child, when Suze and Lilly found out the IVF worked and they had three babies inside of her, my biological clock started screaming and I offered to take the girl off their hands, leaving her brothers together as a unit. Suze and Lil’ were more than happy to oblige. Now I have my perfect little Michael and they can combat rape culture from the inside with the two boys. I hope those boys identify as strong feminist warriors and help keep their bio-sister safe.

What we identify as is so important, because it’s what makes us special. It’s where we find our strength to stand up to the racists. It’s how we choose to see ourselves when we look in the mirror. Not the way society expects us to look, or how Mother Nature made us look. It’s our own perception of how we believe people should see us and it is the core of everything to people who want to feel interesting.

My identity has become Father. I don’t care to bring up my dead identities – age, race, religion, etc. That’s my choice not to bring them up and it’s actually a trigger when people ask so I prefer we just leave it at: Father. Some are triggered in other ways, but this is my triggering. Please respect that.

I can’t wait to see what little multicultural Michael identifies as. She’s got so many options. Her grandma was part Hawaiian. And lots of different countries in Europe. Mainly England. So, pretty mixed. She’s young so she’s still got a couple of decades to figure out her sexual orientation. There’s no such thing as a wrong pronoun for her. I just hope she identifies as something interesting. Not just some boring old mom that stays home and raises the kids like my boring white mom did. But someone that goes to college and becomes something. Like the first civil rights attorney on Mars!

Whatever it is, as long as it’s not the four horseman of the Apocalypse: Straight, White, Christian, Male, I’ll still love her.

If we can end racism and learn to embrace each others identities then the things that push us apart – like each one of us having our own unique thing we identify as – actually bring us together. We can unite our conflicting, confusing, identities and stand together against the people who identify in ways we don’t like!

Doesn’t this feel good when we just embrace everything, no matter how batshit crazy, and just nod along so people don’t think we’re bigots? I love this feeling.

USA!


READ A CONSERVATIVE’S WISH FOR AMERICA HERE


SEE IF YOUR FAMILY IS RIGHT TO STAR IN A REALITY SHOW HERE


The Nuclear Unit is a family-inspired satire site. It was started by Adam Hammer – a comedian turned dad, turned writer. In that order. Follow The Nuclear Unit on all your socials for more. And if you dig what we do, give our stuff a share!

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