Great Grandson of Fucking Immigrants Demands Something Be Done About Current Fucking Immigrants

racist grandpa
“Somebody needs to do something about these fucking immigrants”

FRESNO, CA – Brian McAlister, 63, – and great grandson of some greasy, Irish, immigrant that came to the United States, uninvited, to leech off of our system – wants somebody to do something about all these fucking immigrants. “When my grandpa came over here from Ireland, it was different,” McAlister tells himself. When in reality, no country wants an illiterate drunk with too many kids to come take advantage of our social safety net while they beg for low skilled labor positions. Especially if they’re as disgusting as the Irish.

McAlister continues, “There’s just these people that come from these backwards countries, mired in corruption, with rampant disease and starvation and lack of first world resources,” he says, probably about his useless Irish Great Grandpa, who came from that shithole of a country, Ireland, and brought his shifty, questionable, Catholicism with him.

“All these people want to do is come here and steal jobs,” he reminds us, we assume, about his Great Grandpa who settled into a disgusting shanty in the greater Little Rock, Arkansas area during reconstruction when we had MILLIONS of American-born, newly-minted citizens looking for honest work and didn’t really have the bandwidth to absorb a bunch of people too dumb to know potatoes will literally grow in shit.

McAlister’s inbred drunk of a grandpa came with a bunch of other dumb Irish drunks and drove labor prices down almost below slave wages so people had to live like animals. “And nobody’s gonna be able to get a decent wage without a high school diploma any more,” he sharted out of his ugly, fucking, Irish face that wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for his dumb, fucking, alien Great Grandpa.

“They come here, they bring their families, they live in their own neighborhoods and don’t try to learn the language,” he says, as if in a country of 350 million people that spans two oceans, we really all need to be speaking the language of this hemisphere’s 4th largest colonizer.

“Someone needs to do something, or next thing you know we’ll all speaking Mexican,” the grandson of immigrants continues, as if this stupid child of illegal aliens should even have the right to speak in this country without showing me some identification to prove he isn’t some whisky-pounding, folk-dancing, brogue-slurring, half-human, ginger, piece of shit.

SEE IF YOUR FAMILY IS RIGHT TO STAR IN A REALITY SHOW HERE

The Nuclear Unit is a family-inspired satire site. It was started by Adam Hammer – a comedian turned dad, turned writer. In that order. Follow The Nuclear Unit on all your socials for more. And if you dig what we do, give our stuff a share!

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: