EDITORIAL
Fuck Off, Dad
This thing you got going on over your head that you think is so cute and silly? It’s stupid, Dad. And I’ve never respected you less.
I Am Sick and Tired of Elon Musk Stealing All My Best Ideas
I WANTED TO GO TO SPACE AND TUNNEL UNDER L.A. BEFORE HE DID.
Read MoreWhile We’re Upgrading Every Bathroom to “All Gender,” Think We Can Add Changing Tables to What Used to Be the Mens Room?
My current modus operandi is just to change my shit-covered daughter on the table right there in the dining area.
Read MoreHoly F*ck, When Did Monkey Bars Get So Hard?
I don’t know who decided to – or how they even did – increase the difficulty level of monkey bars, but holy fuck are those things hard.
Read MoreI Wish My Parents Would Die So I Could Become Batman
I don’t want my parents to die just so I can host high school keg parties and blow their life insurance payouts on a Tesla and paintball. I want them to die so that I can become Batman.
Read MoreThis Crazy Lady Brings a Service Horse on the Plane For Free, But I Gotta Pay Full Fare for My Emotional Support Wife?
Your stupid horse rides for free. But my beautiful wife costs money like she’s some goddam piece of checked baggage or some shit.
Read MoreWe Can Never Be Equals As Long As My Husband Refuses to Breastfeed
Men and women are supposed to be equals in every aspect. Well, I beg to differ.
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