Osh Kosh B’gosh Announces Line of Children’s Kevlar Clothing
The invisible hand of the market responds! In lieu of gun control by our elected officials, Osh-Kosh will roll out Kiddie Kevlar® beginning this fall.
Category: NEWS
U.S. Genies Enraged Over Gratuitous Use of Blue Face in Disney’s Aladdin
Genies in America are upset over the stereotypes used in the new live action rendition of Disney’s Aladdin. Blue face is hurtful, they say.
Great Grandson of Fucking Immigrants Demands Something Be Done About Current Fucking Immigrants
A whiny great grandson of some greasy Mick that came to the U.S., uninvited, to leech off our system, wants something done about all these fucking immigrants
CVS Down To One Cashier For Every Three Locations
In an effort to keep prices competitive, CVS has instituted an employment policy of one cashier per every three retail locations.
Speech Impediment Not Preventing Child From Clearly Dropping F-Bombs
Trying to keep kids from cussing has been an empty tradition since the strange day certain words began carrying moral value.
Applebees Introduces Gimp Masks For Families With Loud Children
“We love the murmurs of little children. That’s why we’re testing the new policy. To try and keep the noise level to a murmur.”
Couple Celebrates 27 Years of Complaining About Each Others’ Driving
“Every time Dianne takes the wheel it’s a thrill ride with a fifty-fifty shot of survival. And I’m the lucky man who gets to nag her about never checking her blind spot.”
Local Dad Straight Up Manhandles Dutch Braid
Martin Landers has joined a growing number of stay at home dads who are developing hairstylist skills while their wives are at work.
New Graco® Booster Comes Pre-Stuffed With Crunchy Happy Meal Fries
GRACO is excited to announce the Happy Booster – a convertible car seat that comes pre-filled with crunchy Happy Meal french fries.
Costco a Circus Today
Costco Customer Appreciation Summer Circus events will be popping up to show customers how much Costco appreciates being the place people choose to shop for sacks of dry red beans, 100lbs at a time.
