That’s Not the Best Way to Wash Mom’s Back, Dad

By Your Son

“First off, you’re not even holding the soap. You’re holding Mom’s hips. If you want Mom to have a clean back, you need to actually touch her back.”

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Applebees Introduces Gimp Masks For Families With Loud Children

By The Nuclear Unit

“We love the murmurs of little children. That’s why we’re testing the new policy. To try and keep the noise level to a murmur.”

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Couple Celebrates 27 Years of Complaining About Each Others’ Driving

By The Nuclear Unit

“Every time Dianne takes the wheel it’s a thrill ride with a fifty-fifty shot of survival. And I’m the lucky man who gets to nag her about never checking her blind spot.”

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5 Reasons Bernie Sanders Wants Free College For Families [VIDEO]

By The Nuclear Unit

Bernie Sanders wants your kids to go to college for free. Here are 5 reasons why. [VIDEO]

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Are We Really Still Arguing Over Abortion?

By The Nuclear Unit

I remember 4 years ago when I was only 4, and I couldn’t even do the monkey bars yet, and Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump were talking about abortion and I was like “This seems like a non-issue.”

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THIS JUST IN: Your Family Perfect for Reality Show

By The Nuclear Unit

Your dad is hysterical, when nobody’s around! Him in a house full of strange production crew members? He’s sure to turn that magic on in front of company for once!

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Local Dad Straight Up Manhandles Dutch Braid

By The Nuclear Unit

Martin Landers has joined a growing number of stay at home dads who are developing hairstylist skills while their wives are at work.

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New Graco® Booster Comes Pre-Stuffed With Crunchy Happy Meal Fries

By The Nuclear Unit

GRACO is excited to announce the Happy Booster – a convertible car seat that comes pre-filled with crunchy Happy Meal french fries.

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Costco a Circus Today

By The Nuclear Unit

Costco Customer Appreciation Summer Circus events will be popping up to show customers how much Costco appreciates being the place people choose to shop for sacks of dry red beans, 100lbs at a time.

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Fuck Off, Dad

By The Nuclear Unit

This thing you got going on over your head that you think is so cute and silly? It’s stupid, Dad. And I’ve never respected you less.

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