Newly Single Mom Plucks Nipples

By The Nuclear Unit

After nursing her three adorable kids, her nipples aren’t what they were in high school. Nor should they be. Those were girl nipples and Juliana is a woman.

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Hands-Off Parents Raising Real Asshole

By The Nuclear Unit

Darlene believes children are given too many rules and too much supervision.

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In First Fathers Day Without Grandpa, Family Unsure Who Should Perform the Ranting About Mexicans

By The Nuclear Unit

Stevman’s Honduran wife kicks him out of the running. Maybe Kevin will have his moment to shine?

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High-Powered Executive Mom Can Handle Anything, Except Turning the Lights Off When Leaving a Room

By The Nuclear Unit

“She’s amazing,” her husband Trent says. “Serene can do anything, except turn the goddam lights off.”

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Feminist Dad Teaches Daughter She Too Can Be a Roofer

By The Nuclear Unit

In an age where women are filling boardrooms and executive offices across the world, one man wants his daughter to know, these days, women are free of limitation.

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I Am Sick and Tired of Elon Musk Stealing All My Best Ideas

By Drunk Dad

I WANTED TO GO TO SPACE AND TUNNEL UNDER L.A. BEFORE HE DID.

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Mexican Restaurant Servers Want Society to Know Plate is Hot

By The Nuclear Unit

Servers representing all Mexican restaurants have released a joint statement warning any potential patrons that the plate they are about to set down is hot.

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Local Dad Refuses to Close Bathroom Door

By The Nuclear Unit

Daddy’s deuces never not on display, complains family.

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Switch Witch Takes Wrong Candy

By The Nuclear Unit

Local stoner dad wakes up November 1st to find the Switch Witch pinched his pot candy.

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Toddler Enrolled in Spanish Emersion Preschool Can Only Say “Quesadilla”

By The Nuclear Unit

It’s been four months and all she can say is “quesadilla.” This is what an extra $250 a month gets us? We could literally live in Honduras for less than that.

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